Browned Spanish Tortilla

I call this recipe "Browned Spanish Tortilla" because I am racist. Well, not really. As in I'm not really a racist, not that this isn't the real reason for the name of the recipe, although that is true as well. I suppose if you define race as: a breed or strain, as of domestic animals, then I am a total racist. I do not believe that cats and dogs should intermarry or attempt to procreate with each other. Neither did Bill Murray's character from Ghostbusters. Apparently Dr. Venkman was pretty outspoken about it.

I call this recipe "Browned Spanish Tortilla" because I am a racist (within the lines of inter species domesticated animal relations) and because many tortilla española recipes do not have you brown the onions or potatoes prior to mixing them with the eggs. I'm not really sure why this is. Browned potatoes and onions taste awesome. Most recipes have you use a couple of cups of olive oil and fry them, but still not brown them. If anything I'd say that the other recipes are racist. Not that browned potatoes and onions represent people of any sort. Well, maybe Hungarians.

BROWNED SPANISH TORTILLA:

2 baking potatoes ($2.69 for 5 lbs.)
1 sweet or Vidalia onion ($1.49 for 3 lbs.)
8 eggs ($1.19 for 12)
6 tablespoons olive oil ($3.49 for 17 oz.)
2 tablespoons water
Salt to taste
Pepper to taste

First off, peel your potatoes. That is not a euphemism, actually take the potatoes and peel them. Break out your cutting board. What you want are thin slices of potatoes. They can be round slices if you like, or you can quarter the potato and cut the slices with the flat side down on the cutting board. It really doesn't matter what shape they're in, just cut them about 1/8 of an inch thick. If they're a little thicker or a little uneven don't worry. If you have a mandolin use that, oh, and I hate you. Now, cut your onion into thin slices as well.  Heat 3 tablespoons of olive oil on medium high in a pan big enough to fit everything into. When the oil starts to smoke, turn it down to medium and throw in the onions and a little salt.

When the onions start to brown, throw in your potatoes and a pinch of salt and some pepper. Now you want to brown everything, but you don't want everything to be brown. In other words, a little browning is sufficient, we don't want deep brown everywhere. These ingredients are coming out of the pan and then back in later. Also, keep a watch as your potato slices are going to want to stick together. While the potatoes are browning, mix the eggs, water, and another pinch of salt in a bowl until all scrambled and frothy.

When the potatoes and onions are done, take them out of the pan and set them aside to cool for a few minutes. Use the time to reflect on the fact that Google Glasses can't possibly provide you the experience shown in their video unless they directly communicate with your optic nerve. Once the potatoes and onions have cooled down, stir them into the eggs. Clean your pan, and heat up 2 tablespoons of the oil on medium high heat. Once smoking, pour in the potato, egg, onion mixture using a spatula to try to even out all the potatoes and onions. Reduce the heat to medium low. You should also use the spatula to lift up the sides of the tortilla and let raw egg run down underneath. Once the top no longer looks like it's runny, get a plate that is bigger than your frying pan.

Put the plate on top of the pan place your hand palm down against the middle of the plate. With your other hand, grab the handle of the frying pan and lift it up. Flip the whole thing over so the tortilla drops straight onto the plate. Put the pan back down on the burner and heat up the last tablespoon of olive oil on medium heat. Carefully slide the tortilla back into the pan so that the unbrowned side can cook.

A few minutes and the tortilla will be ready to eat. This Spanish dish is typically served cold with some baguette, but we couldn't wait that long because it was dinner time. Truthfully I prefer eating the tortilla hot. You can cut it into wedges like a big egg pizza, or into squares if you want it to last for more than 8 servings. We paired it with a lovely cava and some Big Bang Theory. We finished off the bottle and the tortilla. The sweet onion really makes a wonderful difference in the taste of this tortilla. I would love to tell you how the tortilla was different when it is eaten cold, but we ate the whole thing. Megan told me this was her favorite thing I had ever made. She may have been drunk, but I really enjoyed it as well and was not drunk. So there.